March 29, 2024

My Journey to God

He’s Not Here

The highlight of the pilgrimage,
Christ’s tomb in the Holy Sepulchre.
With quickening heart I anticipate it:
Standing at the site of the great miracle,
Where the Holy Spirit breathed life again
Into the inanimate body of the Word Incarnate,
Bursting forth in an explosion of light so intense
It seared Christ’s image into His linen shroud.

I’m in the outer room of the aedicule now,
Waiting my turn to enter the tomb itself.
I stand on tip-toe. I crouch.
I shift side to side,
But too many people obscure the view.
Impatience, excitement course through me
As I wait, like the Apostle John, to enter the tomb.
At last it is my turn! My heart is racing!
The entryway is low. I crouch and crawl through it.

At last I am here! The site of the Resurrection!
I see the limestone ledge where Christ reposed,
Now covered by a marble slab.
I look around this holy space
And one thought consumes me:

“He’s not here.”
No overpowering feeling of awe.
No wave of emotional tears.
No charged remnants of that Easter miracle.
Disappointment shrouds me.

“He’s not here,” I think again,
But this time with joy!
“Of course He’s not here!
He is risen!”
And He is alive and with us still:
In His people,
In His Church,
In the Eucharist,
In the world,
And in the Heaven
He obtained for us.

By Natalie Hoefer
 

(Natalie Hoefer is a member of St. Monica Parish in Indianapolis and is a reporter for The Criterion.) †

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