Author of ‘The Paradoxical Commandments’ to present Lenten day of reflection

By Mary Ann Wyand

“People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.”

That’s the first of 10 suggestions for living a better, happier life that are included in “The Paradoxical Commandments,” an amazing how-to list written by Dr. Kent M. Keith of Honolulu when he was a sophomore at Harvard University in 1968.

Keith’s list was first published in a student leadership book that he wrote titled The Silent Revolution: Dynamic Leadership in the Student Council.

Since that time, Keith’s list of paradoxes has gained international fame and a copy of the list was even posted on the wall of Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity home for children in Calcutta.

Consider another one of Keith’s thought-provoking suggestions: “The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.”

Benedictine Sister Joan Marie Massura, program director of the Benedict Inn Retreat and Conference Center in Beech Grove, hopes people will want to reflect on “The Paradoxical Commandments” with Keith during Lent by registering for a March 8 day of reflection titled “Finding Personal Meaning and Deep Happiness in a Crazy World” at the Benedictine retreat center.

Sister Joan Marie also hopes people will want to try to live “The Paradoxical Commandments” every day.

The Beech Grove Benedictines are using Keith’s nationally best-selling books Anyway and Do It Anyway: The Handbook for Finding Personal Meaning and Deep Happiness in a Crazy World in a workshop with women who are incarcerated at the Indiana Women’s Prison in Indianapolis because they believe in the list’s life-transforming advice.

Keith said author Lucinda Vardey included “The Paradoxical Commandments” in her book Mother Teresa: A Simple Path with a note explaining that they were taken “from a sign on the wall of Shishu Bhavan, the children’s home in Calcutta.”

Keith explained that “this is why some people mistakenly thought that Mother Teresa wrote the commandments.”

But he’s happy that the list is helping people all over the world to improve their lives.

“I was deeply moved to learn that Mother Teresa thought that ‘The Paradoxical Commandments’ were important enough to put up on the wall of her children’s home,” Keith wrote in a Feb. 18 e-mail to The Criterion.

“I felt called to write and speak about ‘The Paradoxical Commandments’ again after 30 years had passed,” he said. “Sharing ‘The Paradoxical Commandments’ became my lay ministry. I began traveling to make presentations and give seminars.”

He said the commandments “have been used by many Christians, … preached from pulpits, published in Church newsletters, and posted on Church and parish websites. … School children sent a copy of ‘The Paradoxical Commandments’ to New York police and firefighters to encourage them in the days after 9/11.

“ … People have told me that they have carried a copy of the commandments in their wallets or purses for 20 years,” Keith said. “Others have said they look at the commandments every morning before going to work to help them stay focused on what is really important. I have heard from many Christians who tell me that the commandments have reminded them to live the way Jesus wants us to live.”

Keith said he thinks the root causes of craziness in the world are “that people are focused on power, wealth, fame and winning, rather than loving people, helping people and living ethically. They are focused on symbols of secular, commercial success, rather than ancient sources of personal meaning.”

He believes that “finding personal meaning is a key to being deeply happy … the kind of happiness that truly touches your spirit and connects with your soul. … For people of faith, it may be finding God’s will for your life and then living that will.”

Keith said he tells people that “if they want to find more meaning in life, they should become part of something larger than themselves, and focus on others.”

“The Paradoxical Commandments” are guidelines, he said, “for finding personal meaning in the face of adversity. No matter what the world does to us, we can find personal meaning and be deeply happy anyway. We do that by facing the worst in the world with the best in ourselves. … No matter what the world does to us, we can still live our faith, be close to our families and friends, and do what we know is right and good and true.”